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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28647000">Bones Drags Her Butt</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pronkbaggins/pseuds/Pronkbaggins'>Pronkbaggins</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Bones</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Crack, Hamburgers, Undead, Zombies, bizarre, hamburger, stupid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:20:52</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>343</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28647000</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pronkbaggins/pseuds/Pronkbaggins</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bones solves all her problems by dragging her butt across the floor. David Boreanas' character spots her and this initiates the drawback of this cosmic law: every body they have every examined would rise from the dead and attend all their childrens' performances. Angela cries so hard she cries hamburgers instead of tears. Booth's legs open really wide.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Bones Drags Her Butt</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>My sister gave me this prompt and has never seen Bones.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Bones" Booth said, rounding the corner to Bones' large office in the Jeffersonian "I have a really interesting case here." He froze. In front of him was something more disturbing than the typical rotting corpse he had to work with. Dr. Temperance Brennan was dragging her butt across the floor of her office like a dog would. His mouth hung open in shock.<br/>
"What?" Bones said, getting up and brushing herself off. She played it cool, but her face was red.<br/>
Booth tried to speak but no words came out. He gestured at her, then the floor, then back at her and finally said "what??"<br/>
"Plenty of ancient civilizations solved problems through connecting to the earth with their bodies" Bones tried to explain, but there was no explaining this. Both of them knew this was something that should not have been witnessed. A cosmic law had been broken.<br/>
"Uh oh" Booth said as the ground began to shake. The sound of glass shattering echoed through the halls.<br/>
"I...you really weren't supposed to see me" Bones admitted.<br/>
"What is happening?" Booth asked, drawing his gun.<br/>
"THE DEAD HAVE RISEN!" someone screamed from inside the Jeffersonian. Bones ran past Booth to see for herself.<br/>
"That's impossible" she said "scientifically, the dead stay dead."<br/>
A trail of hamburgers were mixed in with the glass. In the distance, mostly decomposed bodies were somehow reanimated and making their way through the trail of hamburgers.<br/>
"Looks like you're wrong about this one, Bones" Booth said as he started shooting at the reanimated corpse.<br/>
Bones was too busy following the hamburgers in confusion. She located the source - Angela, who was sobbing in the corner of the room.<br/>
"Angela!" Bones screamed.<br/>
Angela turned, her face puffy, hamburgers falling from her eyes.<br/>
"It'll be okay" Bones said, gesturing for Angela to join them.<br/>
"I'm crying hamburgers and the dead have risen! How is any of this okay?" Angela cried hysterically.<br/>
"We will figure this out. Right, Booth?" Bones asked, turning around.<br/>
Booth stood in the doorway, his legs opened extremely wide.</p>
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